Camp Weary Parent has been in full swing all summer, but the fearless leaders over at Weary Parent are marching gamely on. Charlene is playing her own game of Survivor and counting down to school (38 days!), while Christine is wondering when her teens decided she was uncool…

Here at SoloMother, the summer seems to be sliding by pretty smoothly. The King of Everything has a great haircut and brand new shoes, thanks to his grandparents (size 13.5 WIDE and he’s only 5 years old). All his best summer memories have been lovingly crafted by his grandmother and grandfather–berry picking, a romp around a working farm that caters to entertaining families, and a couple of amusement parks. He’s been to New York City to watch the Yankees play at Shea Stadium with his best friend. I’ve been working. I know single mothers don’t have the corner on the working world, but it sure is sad to have to work the summer away.

My turn for summer fun with my favorite boy comes on Monday, when we climb into a friend’s car and drive up to Delaware for a few days at the beach. Thanks to the readers of SoloMother, I managed to save enough money, despite a delinquent dad and a non-profit job, for a mini-vacation. Your readership is invaluable, in more ways than one. Thank you.

What are you doing this summer?

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I love Dr. Leah. If ever you need a level-headed perspective on life, go on over to Just Ask Dr. Leah and… ask. Her comment to yesterday’s musings on broken marriages and failing children was so spot on, I asked her if I could post it here for all to see:

Children born to single moms by choice are a whole different category. The outcome datameaning how do these kids turn outis positive and show no meaningful differences between SM - choice kids and kids born to heterosexual couples.

All divorce studies are confoundednot so clear cut like this article made it sound by the sadly inevitable financial woes often experienced by the newly single divorced mother. Poverty is the issue not the divorce itself. Continued acrimony between the parents surely doesnt help. Dads who split both financially and emotionally certainly contribute to the difficulties kids from divorced homes experience.

Lots of times kids get less supervision leading to problems because mom is working extra long hours to compensate for paltry or no child support and to make up for lost time in the work place.

The most important thing to remember is that statistics are not about you and your family. These data dont predict anything about how your kids will turn out.

As Dr. Phil (not a psychologist - BTW) says, It is better to be from a broken home than to live in a broken home. I hate the term broken home, but the idea that living in constant bitterness and fighting like couples do who stay together for the sake of the children in reality do the kids little good and likely some emotional harm.

The only thing we can do is the best we can. And, likely, that what each of us is doing every day.

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I keep reading all these studies that show how bad divorce is for children. There’s another one, an interesting study, but I found out about it on the Catholic Exchange website.

When I read a summary or news article about data, surveys, polls, or the like, I have to wonder about the slant. Who commissioned the information to be gathered? Who is writing the summary and analyzing the data? In the case of these worst-case scenarios, which children are they interviewing? Are they taking into account socio-economic factors, ancillary family members who offer a stable family atmosphere? What are the factors that contribute to any child’s success, or failure? Is divorce a different factor than single mothers by choice? Is it the rending of what was once normal? Or are children of single mothers by choice at risk, simply for not having a father to balance the mother?

I’m no expert on anything. Perhaps someone else can take a look at the raw data and tell me the nuances that such flat statements as, “Divorce is bad for children” fail to convey.

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If Minnie Driver is your friend, you probably always know where you stand with her. I’ve never read an interview she’s given where I didn’t come away with a feeling of… blunt force honesty.

Her current pregnancy and unwed status hasn’t curbed her appetite for frankness. She says she doesn’t know if she’s going to stay with the upcoming baby-to-be’s father, mysterious as he is. She says that in this day and age, women don’t need husbands to be mothers, and she’s assembling her own delivery room team: “My mom and Aunt Serena will be with me, as will my best friends, a midwife and a yoga teacher. And I’ll be the wailing monster at the centre.” Thanks to the New York Post for the interview.

Go, Minnie, go!

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Splendid Isolation by Cheryl Strayed had me hooked from the first sentence. Imagine, on the cusp of teen-dom, and being brought by your family to a tract of land to live… and build a home.

Her mother had been a single mom for six years. I can’t do the piece justice by writing a blow-by-blow summary. Just read it. You’ll be glad you did.

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