Bullying is a serious issue, and it’s never funny.

Well, apart from the times when it’s funny. But it’s certainly never fun. Well - again, it is. Sometimes. But still, shut up.

Anyway, it’s more fun now, with Dad ‘n’ Me coming to waste a bit of your day in fine Slackerjack fashion. A scrolling beat ‘em up - like the classic Streets of Rage - the game sees you being the school bully, kicking the snot out of kids simply for being there.

As it’s made by that lot who did Alien Hominid, it obviously looks lovely and it has a sense of humour about it. Oh, and it’s violent - shouldn’t forget that. Nor should we forget that it’s a lot of fun, because it is.

Play It Here:

Dad ‘n’ Me

So there’s a three-way in the Big Brother house this week one of Sara, Lisa or Nicole will be flushed away on Friday night, as this BB game heats up.

They are all nomination virgins of course, so whichever leaves, it’s going to hurt. However, there may be some relief for Nicole if she gets evicted. At least she won’t have to put up with her arsehole boyfriend Rex anymore.

Tomorrow we’ll take a look at the favourites for the chop but today let’s have another look those still in the running for the big cash prize, as laid down by Paddy Power. Kerching!

Mikey still heads the list, no surprise there. The blind Scot, who is currently leading the ‘I Hate Rex’ campaign, has been top of the betting charts since time in memorial. Big Brother betting odds 2-1

Darnell has jumped into second place over the last week beating off the competition from Rachel and Kat. The quirky albino American has a good chance of upsetting the odds. Big Brother betting odds 5-2

Rachel, the smooth operator, is keeping it cool again this week and might be worth an outside punt. Her and Kat are bound to make the final week are they avoided this week’s nominations. Big Brother betting odds 10-3

Kat, the shrieking dumpling, seems to be losing ground. Once she was a shoe-in, but now she is just an irritating, squat noise-machine. Big Brother betting odds 6-1

Lisa, the man-women (are those tits fake or not?) is next in line and may well make the final day if she doesn’t get the boot this Friday. Big Brother betting odds 7-1

Rex. Oh hateful Rex. He’s possibly the vilest creature this side of the Atlantic. He’s going get a shock when he leaves the house he probably thinks he’s an extraordinarily popular housemate but the boos will ring out like never before. It’s such as shame that, as head of house this week, he couldn’t nominated. Big Brother betting odds 16-1

Sara is this week’s surprise nomination. And she received more votes than the other two, too. The Aussie beauty has been playing the man-game though and both Dale and Stuart were kicked out while she attempted to dig her claws in. She can’t go back to Darnell, the ideal man Rex is attached so there’s only Mikey and Mo left Oh dear. Big Brother betting odds 50-1

Mohamed finally cooked his goose when he ate one of Mikey’s bogeys for a can of cider this week. Nuff said. Yuk. Big Brother betting odds 80-1

Nicole. Just shut up. Stop crying. Dump Rex. Go home. You hateful women. Big Brother betting odds 250-1

Tomorrow: we’ll be gearing up for yet another eviction - one that could change the makeup of the entire house. Either that or Lisa will go, which is unlikely to change anything, really. In the meantime, don’t forget to check out Paddy Power for the latest Big Brother betting odds.

Story By Richard Hughes

Christina Applegate’s cancer has left the building, along with two old friends.

You can call it brave, you can call it smart, but regardless of what words you want to use to describe it, Christina Applegate has kicked the botty of cancer by having her boobs lopped off in a double mastectomy.

As selfish as it may be for her to deprive her fanbase of those fine assets, we do think that maybe - just maybe - her life is worth more than a couple of breasts. Not much, but still more.

Plus she gets to have augmented ones fitted now, that can’t get cancer and can shoot lasers and stuff. Maybe. It would certainly make for some interesting scenes in Anchorman 2: Tits of Doom.

We reported a couple of weeks back on Christina Applegate and how she had revealed she had breast cancer, but was set to make a full recovery. No one was quite sure at the time how, but it has now been revealed that the 36-year-old took a huge step - not only physically, but career-wise.

Hollywood is a place that judges a person very much on their looks, and Christina has risked a lot by having her physical appearance so drastically altered. But hey - it does mean she isn’t going to die, so it’s all good.

Showing a remarkably good sense of humour, Applegate said these words on ABC News’ Good Morning America, with absolutely no cancer in her body whatsoever:

“I’m going to have cute boobs ’til I’m 90, so there’s that. I’ll have the best boobs in the nursing home. I’ll be the envy of all the ladies around the bridge table.”

Kudos to her. She’s not going mental on a blog about things barely anyone cares about, nor is she getting in the news simply on the merit of being young, called Miley Cyrus and getting her jailbait figure out solely to make everyone in the world a bit uncomfortable.

But Applegate’s decision wasn’t one born of the desire to have incredible bazongas at a ridiculously late age - it was down to the cancer, unsurprisingly:

“I just wanted to kind of be rid of it. So this was the choice I made and it was a tough one.”

Following up on how the mastectomy has affected her in negative ways, leaving her upset and wallowing, Christina then went on to say those irritating inspirational words that mean you can’t help but have respect for the woman:

“I’ve laughed so much in the last three weeks. I love living, and I really love my life, and I knew that from this moment on it was only going to be good that was going to be coming. Yeah, I’ll face challenges, but you can’t get any darker than where I’ve been. So knowing that in my soul gave me the strength to just say, `I have to get out there and make this a positive.’”

Can’t argue with that. While it may not be the best of years for celebs dying, at least it’s being a shitty year for cancer. Take that!

Tom Cruise is continuing his run of trying to make people think he’s less of a massive mental, religious freak.

First he stopped jumping around like a particularly stupid chimp, he stopped going on about Scientology in public - though he did see some of his private video collection released, much to the delight/terror (delete as appropriate) of the general public - and he’s seeing some rave reviews flying about for his small role in Tropic Thunder. So what next?

Well, it’s obvious isn’t it? Star in a superhero film, and get someone like Sam Raimi on board to produce. Which is, apparently, what’s being pushed for by Tom Cruise and Warner Bros, who own the rights to Sleeper - a short running comic book series from a few years back. Well, Raimi’s already on board, but you get the point.

And you can’t fault the man’s logic.

The rumoured decision happily fits in with our theory that Hollywood is physically incapable of having an original thought, ever, ever, ever. It also fits in with the current logic that if you make a film of a comic book it will make a lot of geeks wet with anticipation, thus creating millions upon millions of dollars to line the executive’s pockets with. And we all know how much they love money over there in movieland.

Valuing cash over creativity, honesty or integrity? Say it ain’t so! Ahem.

It appears, if reports are to be believed, that the latest in the line of films the studios hope will emulate the success of Spider-Man 3 and The Dark Knight is an adaptation of Sleeper - a limited series that ran from 2003-05 from the Wildstorm Universe and written by Ed Brubaker, whose writing credits include some work on X-Men and Captain America comics, amongst many others.

It does strike us that such a smalltime comic wouldn’t be the best of the potential earners out there for the studios and actors, but hey ho - it’s their money to waste and, who knows, they might get it right.

They won’t. But, you know - we are the bastions of truth, glory and optimism in the world of the internet. Wait, what? We’re not? Ah crap, Stu isn’t going to be happy…

The connection of Tom Cruise with the project has come about through the usual web of lies/rumours that prop up countless websites across the world, though it did originate at somewhere half-decent in the shape of The Hollywood Reporter, meaning we can leave it to them to explain the finer points:

Written by Ed Brubaker with art by Sean Phillips, “Sleeper,” which ran from 2003-05, centers on an operative whose fusion with an alien artifact makes him impervious to pain and allows him to pass it on to others through skin contact. He is placed undercover in a villainous organization by an intelligence agency and falls for a member of the group, named Miss Misery.

Which sounds absolutely ideal for some big names to get attached to, a plethora of nerds to claim they read the book when it first came out (even though they picked it up off eBay on hearing the news a film was in the making) and a film to come out and get critically panned, while earning a small amount of cash.

You heard it here first.

We should also point out: superpowers afforded by the film adaptation still won’t allow Tom Cruise to keep pizzas warm using magic. Just thought we should point that out yet again.

Roseanne Barr isn’t really known for being particularly funny, but this time she’s managed to make us all laugh.

See, there are times when celebrities get angry at other celebrities - they usually mean a few cross words and not much else. We smirk at these times. We enjoy. We forget.

Then there are times when a celebrity unleashes a furious rant at other celebrities - and this is exactly what Roseanne Barr has gone and done, and in whose direction?

Why, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, of course. The easiest of the targets, as we all know too well.

The internet is a wonderful thing - once we would have to wait for weeks or even months to hear of the spats between two sets of people we don’t know and are unlikely to ever meet. Now, thanks to the popularity and ease of use of blogs, we get to know about even the smallest of arguments straight from the horse’s mouth.

Or Roseanne’s mouth, which - let’s be honest here - isn’t particularly horsey. More beastly.

Yes, she who was on that there Roseanne programme has gone and vented her spleen about the king and queen of celebritydom, starting out on estranged grandpappy Jon Voight but soon moving on to Brad and Angie, slating them for their adoption practices, their charity donations and their political opinions - or lack thereof.

Oh, and she’s only gone and included a passage that very much stands out as something a hecklerspray writer would be proud to unleash on the world.

On the other hand, it does make Roseanne seem utterly, utterly mad and throws the whole matter into question. If it were a reasoned and generally normal person making this post then maybe there would be more credibility behind it, but as it stands, it’s a mad old woman being a bit mad and old.

But who cares? It’s a funny rant! And it went a little something like this:

“jon voight your evil spawn angelina jolie and her vacuous hubby brad pitt make about forty million dollars a year in violent psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children”

Take into account this is printed verbatim, warts, lack of punctuation and all. But Rosey went on and unleashed this beaut, which has to go down as one of the finest sentences a comedian in the decline of her career has said about two top-of-their-game A listers:

“trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more. (just sayin’).”

It’s got venom, it’s got righteous fury and - best of all - it’s got a half-arsed, abbreviated semi-withdrawal at the end of it. That’s a sentence of kings, really. It demands respect while spitting out fury. But did it stop there? Did it bollocks. The ex-fake wife of John Goodman was obviously just hitting her (typing) stride:

“do you not know that the african daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the republican party’s worldwide economic assault on africa over the last few decades since reagan?”

Obviously she went on even more, confusing us just as much as she made us splutter our Coco Pops all over our fancy new keyboard, but the choicest pick has to come from how she signs the post off:

“Ps….it might be good for your asian and african children’s self esteem to know you support a brown man for the leader of the free world.”

We can’t help but be conflicted about the whole thing. On one hand it’s utterly hilarious, on the other she does need to take a step back to take another look, calm herself down and probably have a nap, as she seems a bit cranky.

Either way, Roseanne Barr has amused hecklerspray for the first time in our life - marrying Tom Arnold didn’t count, that was a cheap shot - and that’s got to be worth at least something.

Read the Rest of it Here:

Roseanne’s blog